I am relatively new to Facebook. As a 40-something, I have seen methods of communication develop since my childhood. I routinely text my husband with questions, or funny pictures through the day but I clearly remember, as a freshman in college, waiting anxiously for the mail and letters from friends. In my freshman year, I went to a very conservative Catholic college run by the Sisters of Mercy. If they heard you swear or use bad language or swear, you didn't get mail for a week! It was awful. It took me awhile to catch on. I can't imagine in these days of immediacy, that college kids today would ever have to worry about that. Do people even write letters anymore?
Which brings me to Facebook. A new way to connect with old friends, keep in touch and a whole new way of insulting people, hurting their feelings. I'm talking about "unfriending". So, when you "unfriend" someone, are you "unfriending" them in life too? This recently happened to me. I must say I was devastated. And, by my estimation, we are no longer friends in "real life". This friend went through a fairly tough divorce which I knew nothing about until 2 years later. We have kids the same age and have known each other for about 10 years. To make a long story short, we have always had a kidding, sibling kind of relationship, sarcastic banter, and joking around. When we re-connected on FB, I continued as we had always done, kidding them about various posts etc. Apparently, the joke was on me. This person changed the rules on me. And instead of sharing with me his new desire for "positivity", I was dumped. To make matters worse, this person remained in contact with my husband.
Are we really to the point where human contact is so unnecessary? Where we can end relationships via technology? How sad. I mourn the loss of this friendship but also the loss of a world where this would not have happened.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
A new school year...
My baby has started first grade. She came home from school and said, "Mommy, thank you for letting me go to first grade." As if I could stop her. Wasn't it yesterday that I was rocking her to sleep in the rocking chair in our old house? I feel melancholy for those days. Just me and her, playing, taking walks, watching her in wonder as she figures things out. Why don't we realize how fast it goes at the time? As many parents, I wish time could freeze or at least slow down. I live in fear that something will happen to her and I will suddenly have wasted all this time.
We have had some challenges lately. She is so exhausted after school but just will not give in. Instead, the mood gets worse, the mouth and disrespect ramp up. Sometimes it makes me want to cry. I truly think it is her way of trying to maintain control when she is anxious or tired. She has to have the last word, on everything. Drives me crazy. I find I want to have the last word after her, just to prove I am the one in control. How childish. We just need routine and she is fighting it. She already lost outside time after school for her behavior during and after Mass yesterday. It is almost as though she feels disconnected with the attention is not on her so she causes a disruption to focus it back on her. Any attention is good attention.
Now she is wiser that I am. She is excited about the new year. LOVES the first grade teacher. As a matter of fact, her wonderful kindergarten teacher invited her to spend the day with her the day before school started fixing up her classroom. She had a wonderful time. It is those moments she just lights up, it touches me. It helps me to see her through other people's eyes. How her grandfather, who is suffering from Alzheimers, lights up when he sees her. We have never seen him have a bad day when she is there. She has a loving way about her, sometimes with everyone but me. She says hello to everyone in the nursing home, they just light up. I think they do not see many children. She loves equally, completely. I hope she never loses that.
She challenges me to my toes, every day. I usually fail the challenge. Perhaps this is why God gave her to me, to make me a better person. I love her more than anything.
We have had some challenges lately. She is so exhausted after school but just will not give in. Instead, the mood gets worse, the mouth and disrespect ramp up. Sometimes it makes me want to cry. I truly think it is her way of trying to maintain control when she is anxious or tired. She has to have the last word, on everything. Drives me crazy. I find I want to have the last word after her, just to prove I am the one in control. How childish. We just need routine and she is fighting it. She already lost outside time after school for her behavior during and after Mass yesterday. It is almost as though she feels disconnected with the attention is not on her so she causes a disruption to focus it back on her. Any attention is good attention.
Now she is wiser that I am. She is excited about the new year. LOVES the first grade teacher. As a matter of fact, her wonderful kindergarten teacher invited her to spend the day with her the day before school started fixing up her classroom. She had a wonderful time. It is those moments she just lights up, it touches me. It helps me to see her through other people's eyes. How her grandfather, who is suffering from Alzheimers, lights up when he sees her. We have never seen him have a bad day when she is there. She has a loving way about her, sometimes with everyone but me. She says hello to everyone in the nursing home, they just light up. I think they do not see many children. She loves equally, completely. I hope she never loses that.
She challenges me to my toes, every day. I usually fail the challenge. Perhaps this is why God gave her to me, to make me a better person. I love her more than anything.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)