Manners

How does one go about teaching their children manners? Of course, leading by example is always a good place to start. But how do you teach a child what is socially acceptable? My daughter is very sensitive. However, only my husband and I know that. Today, while at a friend's house, she broke a child's tea set that had been given to the mother when she was a child. It was obviously irreplaceable. My friend, who is always gracious, was quite kind about it but I saw that she was upset. Grace was full of excuses..."I didn't know", "It wasn't my fault". I was mortified. I asked Grace to apologize. I could see she was mortified but her classic response is one of defiance and indifference. What to do?

I am continually at a loss on how to handle my child's public, defiant, "the rules don't apply to me" behavior. As an only child, she considers herself an adult which causes no end of arguments and subsequent consequences. I so want her to just be a child. Pay no attention to what Daddy and I are talking about. Have no care for the affairs of the adult world. But that is not who my daughter is. She inserts herself where she does not belong, comments on things that are none of her business and is generally in everyone's business but her own. What to do?

So, how do I instill in her the love and compassion needed to be a valued member of society while still enabling her to be a child? I know she is sensitive. It comes out in other ways. The inablility to sleep well at night, the constant questioning about an incident or the utter refusal to talk about it as if the very thought of it would destroy her. But how do I teach her graciousness and respect?

Right now, I have no idea. There are so many things about this child I don't understand. God has presented me with the challenge of a lifetime. I fear I am failing at every turn.